Friday, September 18, 2009

Paper Gowns and Gynecologists

It was time to have that dreaded 'woman appointment'. UGH!

I was in the room waiting patiently when the nurse came in to let me know that I could put the gown on and the doctor would be right in.  So, I disrobed and picked up the gown. The paper gown. I thought that surely I had picked up the paper blanket-sheet-thing that they get you to lie on. Nope. The gown was paper. When did they come out with these things?  That was merely my first thought. As I started to unfold it -what an orgiami experience!- I began to panic and other thoughts began to rampage thru my mind. What happens if it rips?! What if I'm nervous and sweaty? What is this slippery plastic string-thing? Did I break it already? Are they recyclable? How does it stay closed? And again: What if it rips?!?!

All these thoughts were raging in my head but were soon swept aside because of one startling observation: How the HELL do I put this thing on!? 

Turns out that, yes: They DO rip easily, that plastic thing was a very slippery robe tie that did NOT look liked it would work and yes; if you sweat...well. Moving on...

I would just like to say at this point that my doctor is AMAZING. He is so intelligent, he listens to me and he always makes me feel 100% better regardless of why I have come to see him.
Now, this table that you have to become closely associated with happens to be in a very small room. It's small because it is a private practice so they make use of what room they have. And boy did they make use of this room.
I am going to end this blog by saying that when you pack a 12 foot table in a 15 foot room, it doesn't leave much room at the end of the table for much else. That includes the doctor.

And this is why I know that my doctor has very soft hair. Because he had to do my test sideways with the top of his head mashed against my leg.

Have a good day.

Live Artistically

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